The Power of Change.

Hey y'all.

I've been absent lately. Absent-minded, absent-spirited, and absent-living. I think I made up two of those combinations.

Anyway, I've been struggling to surface out of heaps of stuff, both emotional and physical, per usual. It seems the struggle never really goes away, and to think it will someday disappear or evaporate strikes me as childish and naive now.

Blogging is fun, but it's not fun to talk about your inner-most personal problems and failures. Most people use social media to celebrate everything that's right in their lives, and if you were to believe that these things are the only things that make up their lives, then you would be believing a beautiful lie. I actually know a couple of people who have an AMAZING Instagram or Facebook life, but never smile in person when I see them. It's really quite shocking, seeing light in someone's eyes in a picture but never having seen it in person before. So I want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that every single person in your virtual social circle has failed at something recently. Maybe it was a workout plan. Maybe it was a school test. Maybe it was remembering to pay a bill on time. Maybe it was a life plan. Maybe it was an appointment. Maybe it was a relationship. Maybe it was a personal goal. Maybe it was a professional goal. But every single person you know has failed at something recently, so please be careful who you find yourself jealous of. You just don't know what their life is actually like, and social media is the perfect forum for pretending everything is moving along swimmingly.

On the same topic, I have to admit that I have been overwhelmed for far too long with issues I have been silent on to protect those involved (including myself). I don't plan to "out" anyone here, but if you happen to know me on a personal level and you want to know more, now is the time to ask. I'm not hiding out anymore. I'm done with that. And I'm not sorry for choices I've made. I've made some seriously huge choices in the last year that have affected my life and the lives around me, but based on the evidentiary support I have compiled, it's all been for the best. All I ask is respect and love in return. If you are unable to provide those two things, delete me now. Just do it, and save us both heartache and frustration.

Okay! Getting off of my soapbox now.

Today's topic: The Power of Change.

When I started on my "healthy life" journey last year, my A1C was 8.6. The range it's supposed to be within is 4.3-6.1. (For those wondering what the heck an A1C is, please see this link.)

As you now know, higher = bad, so I was pretty shocked. And sad. And a whole host of other emotions that roll into a chronic disease diagnosis. I am not the kind of person who gives up, as my tenacity is actually one of my strongest character traits, so instead of saying "SCREW THIS!" and eating my way into an early grave, I chose instead to start making some lifestyle changes. I begrudgingly started taking prescription medication and even started daily insulin shots to increase my lifespan and get my diabetes under control. Not that I don't have those days where all I want to do is eat an entire cheese pizza. But, I digress.

My A1C came back as 7.4 in November, and I think I did a little too much celebrating. In February, it was still decreasing, but it had only gone down to 7.1. My doctor said that, now that we're much closer to the acceptable range, she wanted me to wait until June to come back for my next A1C. I then proceeded to completely forget until August (oops), and got in immediately to get my annual physical done, which includes an A1C checkup. To my surprise and delight, it came back at 6.0. At the top of the range, but in the range. Finally. It's been a long year!! My doctor was happy to see that and said, "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. It's working!" She wanted me to stay on the insulin and the other prescription drugs for now until more testing can be done to assure it won't spike back up if I stop taking it. Which mostly just means blood tests monthly for the next three months or so. I was ECSTATIC.

But. There's always a but, isn't there??

She also had my cholesterol levels checked and, to both of our surprise, the levels were waaaaay off. My bad cholesterol is too high, my good cholesterol is too low, and I was immediately dismayed. I think she was too - she called me as soon as she got the tests and said, "So, you are eating well, aren't you??" I told her I was eating okay but I could do better. I'm hard on myself, and this is my honest answer. She put me on another medication (oh joy) and wants to do bloodwork in a month. Seeing as how I lost a grandparent to liver failure, and seeing as how your liver is the coolest filter ever created, I did a little research on how to lower cholesterol. Guess what I found?

Lose weight.

Yup.

Lose weight. *ugh*

Up until this moment, I've been able to get away with "well, you SHOULD lose weight, but mostly what you need to do is..." and I always end up focusing on whatever the "mostly" part is and ignoring the weight loss altogether. I'm an emotional eater, and the chairwoman of Overeater's Anonymous (not really), so you can imagine my frustration.

Over the course of the weeks leading up to this test result, I had been discussing a fat-burning and weight-loss meal replacement program with my nail lady, Jeri. She is an avid user and promoter of Isagenix and their products (shakes for meal replacement with lots and lots of other supplementing products) and one of my biggest attraction to this idea (besides the word "shake") was that it is all soy-free. Although not proven, as much in science cannot be proven perse, soy has been linked to higher rates of breast cancer due to the estrogen. So, soy-free products are especially attractive to me, and especially now (my grandmother passed away last week due to complications of metastatic breast cancer). I took a risk and ordered the 30 day cleanse when I got my test results back because I honestly wasn't sure what else to do.

Now, don't judge me just yet. Let me explain myself for a moment. I have what I consider to be one of the most sensitive digestive tracts of anyone I have ever met (even my old roommates remember this about me...). Most kinds of leafy greens I don't digest at all, and most kinds of food (if spiced in any way) or diets (especially those based on caffeine) make my life a living hell. Most of my medications will do that, too, until I'm used to them. Choosing to implement Isagenix in my life was a choice I made after bombarding Jeri with request after request for information on how their products are different from other whey protein-based products, how their system works differently, how it affects which body parts, what scientific research has been done to support their claims, and their articles on how their products affect blood sugar. I read nearly every bit of research (including the actual reports on the clinical trials - who does that?!) and prayed until my head hurt. I also checked in with my friend, Nikki, who had just started it herself so I could get an opinion from her as well. I got a resounding "yes" from the research and a "go for it" from the Lord above me, so I took a risk and ordered the 30 day cleanse.

This part of the story is where things get real. My personal experience. You can choose to think what you want, but this is what happened to me. Okay? Okay. Let's move on. :)

Here's the most important thing to take away from my personal experience with Isagenix: it works.

No, seriously, it works! Be excited!! I am!

I will admit that those first three or four days shook my faith that I was capable of sticking to this at all. I didn't think I could do it. I thought maybe I had taken too much of a risk without the reward. And I MISSED FOOD SO MUCH. I didn't realize that, not only was I likely eating somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000 calories a day, but this is a low-calorie diet (meaning 1,500 or less daily) and I was not prepared for that kind of cold-turkey quitting.

(...mmm...turkey..)

**Steph's advice - track your calories for at least four days before doing this so you know how much you eat normally. THEN do your best to reduce over a week or even two so you are prepared to start this. Jumping in like I did was incredibly hard and it honestly made me miserable for a few days.**

I realized after the first three or four days that following the "shake day" program was too hard for me at the moment. Besides the fact that I was still getting used to much less caloric intake, I was forgetting I am diabetic and allowing myself to have dangerous lows (which I hadn't had in some time, so that's a good sign in retrospect, though the lows are not good at all) which made my muscles ache and made me feel really light-headed. Trying to show someone an apartment while trying not to pass out is not a challenge I'd never like to repeat! I did a little research on the Isagenix website (when you sign up, they give you a TON of information and links to all of their research, suggestions, tips, Facebook groups, everything. It's a huge support system!) and discovered that they recommend diabetics spread out their "one actual meal" during the day to help keep blood sugar stable. I started doing that and suddenly the entire thing was MUCH easier for me to handle. I started actually getting hungry FOR REAL and I learned what my body does to warn me I'm getting hungry so I can avoid the "hangries" and keep my blood sugar stable, which in turn keeps my metabolism blazing ahead at full speed.

And yes, I cheated. I have cheated a lot on this. In one of the first four days, I was so hungry I ate 3/4 of a freezer cheese pizza (cooked, of course) and immediately hated myself. After a few hours, I realized that I don't need to hate myself and I should stop doing that immediately. What I needed was to adjust the way I'm doing this to make it work for me. Because in the end, I am the only person I answer to with this program. Jeri isn't going to yell at me if I don't do this right. Nobody is except for me, because I'm the only person in control of what's going into my body. And once I realized that, there was a lot less pressure to make this work for me. I started just making good choices and trying my best to stick to the plan, while allowing the occasional slip-up and not beating myself up over it because hey, I LIKE FOOD.

They have you chart your weight loss and inches lost in this little booklet 11 days after you start. Two of my 11 days were definitely vacation days (read: no Isagenix whatsoever) so I had this irrational thought in my head that I had screwed it all up and nothing had changed. That was, until day 11, right before I did my measurements. I was looking at myself in my bathroom mirror and an I noticed that my lower belly bulge looked smaller. I was taken aback - has it always looked like that? Wasn't this part bigger before??

I bolted down my stairs and grabbed the measuring tape that came with my products and started measuring immediately. I did weigh myself and discovered that I lost 5 pounds (hooray!), so I didn't think much else had changed. The funny thing is that, with a high-protein diet, I personally build up muscle before I start to lose fat. I didn't know this until I did my measurements and was totally shocked (and thrilled!!) to discover I've lost 2" off of almost every part of my body in 11 days. Adding up all of the inches lost, I lost 18.5" in 11 days.

I know, right???

I'm not lying, the measurements speak for themselves. And I've had a heck of a lot of praise from other people I see semi-regularly. My sister said I looked amazing and my legs looked smaller to her, my mom wanted to know what I was doing, my friend Kristen said I looked great, and Jeri said that even my skin seems brighter. And no wonder! The shakes are packed with enough vitamins and minerals that I don't even need to take my herbal supplements or my daily vitamin anymore. My eyes are brighter, my skin seems healthier, and I've lost inches. My muscles are more toned, my legs are looking fabulous if I do say so myself, and my upper arm flab is shrinking. My brain feels more awake, I've started taking stairs everywhere simply because I feel motivated to do so, and I somehow feel better able to cope with the stress of my crazy life.

You guys. I'm not even exercising. It's true! I wasn't able to for that first week because I was still figuring out how to stabilize my blood sugar and I was afraid of getting too low. I really had my doubts about this system, but even if you tweak it, the underlying truth remains: it works.

AND my digestive system LOVES IT. I was given a bottle of their all-natural IsaFlush, which is supposed to help keep stuff moving (switching to a high-protein diet can block you up pretty bad), but I haven't needed to use it once because of how my digestive tract works. I have had ZERO flare-ups of IBS (gross, I know, I'm sorry), ZERO flare-ups of acid due to GERD, and I have been sleeping so much better (even on my old cruddy mattress). I can still have my daily cup of coffee just the way I like it, guilt free. I can still eat a piece of pizza (I limit myself to one piece instead of all of the pieces because I like how I feel much better after one than after an entire pizza), or a couple of cookies, or whatever. Feeling better, I've noticed a sharp increase in confidence. I've also noticed a sharp increase of motivation to keep it up. When things change this quickly, it's hard NOT to be motivated.

I also want to mention that their protein bars and shakes are actually pretty good. Normally, you can expect chalky, tasteless grossness with these things, but they actually are pretty good. The Dutch Chocolate one smells better than it tastes (beware) but Jeri suggested you throw a little peanut butter or a banana in it to boost flavor and nutrients. The French Vanilla one is sooo good, in my opinion, because of the added cinnamon (plus, cinnamon helps control blood sugar). I tried the oatmeal raisin bar and the chocolate bar and they are both very good, and very satisfying. I actually went to Target the other day to see what the on-the-shelf protein products look like (and cost - I'm all about reducing costs but I'm not about to sacrifice quality in this particular area), and discovered that most of them are soy-based. Beware!! I can't stress that enough. I did buy a couple boxes of the Larabar bars because they have 3-4 ingredients (and they're soooo good) but they have only about half of the protein that the Isagenix bars have. But look at me! I was in the protein bar section of Target and got myself some all-natural snacks! Who is this girl?!?

I also eliminated snacks from my fridge and freezer (minus pickles - I just love them too much) and filled my freezer with frozen fruit (zero sugar added) and frozen veggies, and got a ton of tuna and turkey so, when hunger strikes, I've got nothing but good choices to choose from. And yes, I still get my occasional bag of Fritos from the vending machine because dammit, life is too short. But I'm serious about taking care of myself and living to at least 80, and I am excited about it.

This is a choice I've made that I expect to continue to make for some time. I want to keep this in my life for awhile to see how much good it does me, and I do plan on exercising again (shin splints make it so darned hard) to boost the benefits that way. I'm not here to force you to buy this stuff, and I'm not here to sell it to you, either (although you can buy it through me if you wish). My main message is this: DO SOMETHING NOW TO BETTER YOUR LIFE. Don't wait until tomorrow. Don't wait until next week. Don't wait until your next paycheck. Do it now. Whether it's taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or planning that long-overdue vacation, or even just spending an hour reading a book or taking a bath, take some time for yourself and do something just for you. Just do it. Show yourself a little love. It feels so, so good.

Love you all,
Steph