The Glass is ALWAYS Half Full

It has come to my attention that I have been giving off these negative vibes...I am sorry for that. I know you have your own problems and you don't need to hear about other peoples problems through whiny blogs.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY THE SAME.

And what better way to think positively than to get the serotonin flowing with some jokes?? I saw a special on Comedy Central today about Gabriel Iglesias. If you don't know who he is, here's a picture of him:

He is a BIG man and he has some of the funniest stuff out there. Next to Eddie Izzard, of course. Here's a picture of Eddie Izzard:

He is also a well-known "executive" transvestite. As shown here:

He pulls it off rather well, doesn't he? If you get a chance, check out "Dressed to Kill" on Netflix. Totally worth it. :)

At any rate, I wanted to post a couple quotes from both of these gentlemen that I find quite amusing...

Gabriel Iglesias: "Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are necessary for a life. And they stuck them in one aisle and they put them in order according to how you mess up... First thing you're going to see: condoms. Next to that: lubricant. Next to that: pregnancy test. Next to that: Pampers. Next to that: formula. And at the end of the aisle they sell beer."


Eddie Izzard: "I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself. It’s the end of your life."


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I might be an idiot or a genius. Not sure. But on my birthday (22nd), I will pretty much have the entire weekend's meals and desserts paid for by coupons. I enjoy the idea of getting a crap load of stuff for free. I don't expect high quality stuff, no no. Crap. Lots and lots of crap. *tee hee hee*

My eyes are drooping and Lucy's snoring, so it's time for bed. But first, I would like to start a list of things to try NOT to do before bed:

*Read Stephen King
*Drink a lot of anything
*Read Stephen King
*Eat a lot of sugary stuff
*Exercise
*Read Stephen King
*Pick a fight with anyone you expect to talk to tomorrow
*Paint your nails
*READ STEPHEN KING
*Spend a lot of time on the computer
*Start sucking on a lozenge
And of course, read Stephen King.

G'night!